nightmare
A terrible thing happened
to me.
It scared me half to death.
When it was over I was shaking.
I had nearly lost my breath.
Fractions chased me down
the hall.
I didn't know what to do.
And worst of all I stumbled
On a remainder of thirty-two!
When I added I got the difference!
When I subtracted I got the sum!
I forgot how to divide and multiply!
I was feeling so awful and dumb.
Then all the square roots
turned to circles
And rolled on down the street.
I couldn't tell the difference
Between inches, yards and feet!
pi r squared got eaten
Right before my eyes
And infinity came to an end
To my horror and surprise.
If something like this should
happen to you
Don't worry - it'll be alright.
The only time it will happen
Is in the middle of the night.
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How to Recapture The Confusion
Of When You Were Four
And Your Mother Said: Grandpa Is My Daddy
Years ago I married a widow who had a grown-up
daughter.
My father visited me often, fell in love with my
step-daughter
and married her. Thus he became my
son-in-law
and my step-daughter became my mother
because
she was my father's wife. Soon after this,
my
wife gave birth to a son which, of course,
was
my father's step-brother and my uncle
because
he was the brother of my stepmother.
My
father's wife also became the mother of a son.
He
was, of course, my brother and also my grandchild
for
he was the son of my daughter. Accordingly, my
wife
was my grandmother because she was my
mother's
mother. I was my wife's husband and grandchild
at
one and the same time, and as the husband of a
person's
grandmother, was the person's grandfather.
So
I became my own grandfather.
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